Here Pussy, Pussy...Or Was that the 2009 Jacksonville Jaguars?!

The only way these cats even remotely resemble a Jaguar is if they rollin' on dubs wit' the top down and a little tiny silver cat on the hood.

Nameen?
The Wack-whars. The Keystone Cats.
Straiiiiight up Pussy, just missin' a little milk.
But they just didn't order any. Cause they shure got served every thing else.

Seen?
And I mean
Every thing else.

And did you see that spectacle in Miami? First preseason game of 20009 season and these pussy....cats were pushed all over the field. First team blown off the ball on both sides of the ball. I mean did you see Crowder(Miami 52) blow up Greg Jones Pussy Cats 33) as Jones was pass protecting. Pushed him 5 yards and almost took Lil Davey Gerrad's head off. Every time I turned around Miami was hittin' the shiiiii out of him.
I
couldn't
stop
laughin'.
But not to keep from crying.

This thing on display was hilarious. To a trained eye the first string D and Offense looked worse than a high school team. I won't bore you with the nuanced details but here:

1. Outside linebackers too stiff for the 3-4 generally. And that's bein' nice.
2. Pass rush is non existent in either 4-3 or 3-4, except for 2 isolated cases--and it was more blown Offensive assignments than D work that created the problem.
3. Inside linebackers couldn't shed skin if they were a snake let alone a block.
4. And this is the pervasive problem, the tackling lacked any physicality. Here Kitty Kitty. I mean Here Pussy Pussy. I just kept repeating it over and over again. There was no intensity, no ferocity. Pop hell there wasn't even poop.
5. The D line was blown back repeatedly by Miami line.

And that's just the lowlights of the Pussies' D fense

1. The O was incredibly pussy pussy cat like. Holes? hell the Oline couldn't even move their man a half an inch.
2. O linemen moved way too slow and couldn't hold their own water back in a swimming pool. I was afraid for Lil Davey. Get him out of there I kept screaming, for God's sake it's the preseason.
3. The skill players were slow lacking any real explosion for the most part. Except for 81 as usual, but Lil Davey was so busy running for his life...

Man I can't wait till they put Eugene I'm gettin' paid the wealth of nations but I can't stop a car with my foot on the brake Monroe out there with this OLine.

Wow.

The stench didn't just leave Detroit, it drifted to Jacksonville.

No, but seriously, and truly?

This team is a bunch of spoiled million dollar cats who will not win this year. The coaching staff obviously lacks the ability to help them find the intensity needed. That was the first preseason game. It's down hill from here because the league will only up its intensity.

I may

I doubt the Pussy Cats have the player or method to move their intensity.
4-12 would be wonderful.

Oh no?

Make me a liar. Hell put me up on the bulletin board.

Somehow I don't think it'll matter cause I can't stop asking...

(Let me holla at my fellow Pussy fan for a minute...)
Yo, brah, and you know who I mean, was that your 2009 Jacksonville Jaguars you defended so? Got angry over? You, you all, deserve every loss. I rooted for you once but I'll be sittin' there laughing. Can't fight fate, the truth, and all that.

But really this here thing is the warriors yall been shapin' in the heat of Florida? That got the chest pushed out and arrogant puckered face rollin?

That bullshiii there a football team? Football players so you don't need strai8 heat?
Turnover that roster yesterday!!!! Ballers? Hell bring the world to camp. Bring a damn cat a nine tails, a bolo, and a machete.

Jaguars?

Ya gotta be kiddin' me

Na meen?

Cause to me looked like they all wanted a little cat nip. And ain't no damn Jaguar ever wanted no damn catnip.